How many times have we all heard "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do"? Well let me tell you my story of it. In Early January of this year, 2010. I met a real sweet gal online from a local dating site. Since meeting her, we have exchanged emails, text messages, phone calls, even on facebook. We have met in person, she met some of my family members, I met some of her family members as well, She is from Newark, CA I am from Redwood City, CA we are about 30 minutes away from each other. For two months we have gone out together going to places, exchanging our love for each other, like most romantic couples would do when they are in love. The next day, this week, I get the "It's not you, it's me speech" text message. She is breaking up with me, because we are too different, and that were both looking for different things. Now, what exactly is she looking for, and she hasn't said anything to me about this since we met. I have told her what I am looking for, I told her all about me, I gave her my pros and cons, what I like to do and what I don't like to do, and what I'm willing to try, but I don't get anything back from her except for 3 daughters, one is 18 and at San Jose State, studying to become an animated artist, the other two are 3 year old twins with divorced parents, meaning her, and her two ex's. Her 3 year old twins are getting the child support from their fathers, I offered to help out, she say's no that's ok, don't worry about it, ok I won't but at some point in time, I will. She and her daughter's live at home with her parents, both are retired and at living peacefully 24/7. She works full time and her 18 year old works part time on the weekends. Her 3 year olds are being taken care of by their babysitter and sometimes, her parents. Her 18 year old does help out with the baby sitting as well, when both the baby sitter and the parents are not at home. So I think that is all she told me, but I still have not heard the full story of her, or of her pros and cons, I did get the likes and dislikes from her, but no, I have not read the full story of all about her. She only told me a couple of chapters about her. If you read all about me, you will see that there are 10 chapters about me that are worth reading. So now I am thinking, since the break up, why does love suck? Why is it that the nice guys like us, are the ones being dumped by problematic women? (no offense, but I am at the beginning point of my break up). And, I never really got the reasonable decision from her of why the breakup, and I probably never will, but that's ok now, because the next person I meet, I am going to be prepared for a new relationship and not make the same mistake from the previous relationship. And it was going so well, I just don't get it, but who cares? I'm moving on, I'm picking myself up, dusting myself off, and I am going to start again, but with a refreshed state of mind. I'm open to comments and feedback, so please, leave your thoughts. Thanks.
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- Victor's Blog
- West Bay Area, Emerald Hills, California, United States
- 36 year old Hispanic/Latino/Mexican, born and raised in the USA. 6.2 Ft. tall, Average Body Size, Push me and I push back even harder! Haters, Beware!
5 comments:
Ok Victor I am going to give you some major insight into women and how we work. Nice guys are friend material. We want the bad boys. We want to change them and make them our projects. You are the finished product and therefore not a challenge. We want someone who will treat us well, but run when we are treated well, because it is, ummmm boring. If someone likes us and treats us with respect and bends to our every request, then we don't respect them. We complain about our bad boys, but they make life interesting and exciting. Soo there it is, I may have to turn in my girl membership for sharing but that it the truth of it. Treat her bad and she will want to "fix" you. :)
Ok Victor I am going to do you a major favor and tell you how women work. We want the nice boy, we really do. Butit's not a challenge. We want the bad boy more. The boy that treats us like a second thought. They boy that doesn't call, the boy that isn't very considerate or doesn't have a clue about our feelings. The nice boy is ummmm.....boring. We want the excitement of the pursuit - yes girls persue too, with a look, a smile and flirting. The harder you are to get the more we flirt. You are the finished product and therefore not a challenge. We want to fix you, so you have to have something to fix. We don't want to understand how you feel. We want you to be the mysterious, not easily swayed but our requests. We don't respect a man that we can lead around like a puppy. Let me repeat... we don't respect a man that we can lead around like a puppy. We want someone a little bit edgy. There's more, but I will have to give up my girl membership if I go further. Your mom is a great example, talk to her, ask her what she finds attractive about a man. She's pretty smart. Good Luck!!
PS.. You are a very nice looking guy, you can get the prettiest girl in the room if you play it right! Deb
Unfortunately Debbie, this does not work for me, since I don't like being the bad guy thinking I am first then her. No. that's not how I function, I prefer to be the person who cares and is in touch with her feelings. Thanks for your comments, a little rough but thank you. Cheers.
Victor, you are a good guy,,,stay the way you are. Do not change. When you meet a girl ask questions. What is she looking for, what does she want, what does she like to do, what are her goals for next week, next month, next year, or five yrs from now. Tell her how you are and what you are looking for in a girl. Make sure she has no prior arrests, involvement in drugs, multiple marriages, or excess baggage. Make sure she is financially independent so you know that she is not just looking for a free ride. Take it slow, and don't lay out your feelings right away,,,,flirt but keep a distance until you know what her true feelings are and that she is not lying or cheating on you. There are more women than men on this earth so don't give up. There are plenty of fish in the sea and there is one out there waiting for you to catch her!
Thank you anonymous (Debbie).
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